IT IS THE FIRST DAY OF OCTOBER AND I AM CAMPING IN A CAFE WHILST IT RAINS

IT IS THE FIRST DAY OF OCTOBER AND I AM CAMPING IN A CAFE WHILST IT RAINS and I have exactly three spots on my chin but my Mama says I should be thankful it’s not four and I am blaming it on all those damn cigarettes but my Mama seems to reckon it’s probably something to do with all that damn caffeine. Lily said if I had a baby I should name it Earl Grey because of all the coffee and tea I drink. I may as well take it straight through a drip in my veins like that time I didn’t know somebody had put drugs in my drink and I woke up in a rickety hospital bed in Dubrovnik with no shoes and a drip in either hand and Jack had to pick me up in a cab and put me in the shower to wash all that filth off so I made him a sandwich to say thank-you but he didn’t eat it ‘cause he didn’t like the cheese. Where were we? I’ve had a lot of coffee. Two cappuccinos and one whole French press, to be exact. Right. Earl Grey Warren, Lily had said. Don’t you think it has a ring to it? I reminded her that my suppositious baby wouldn’t be taking my last name, with my suppositious husband and all. That made us both sad in capital letters. SAD. I had a vision on the early train stuck somewhere in the tunnel between Baker Street and Bond Street to only write in capital letters from that moment onwards to make my words seem indubitable and indomitable and also just nicer to look at. I responded to two emails before concluding I shouldn’t be yelling before the sun had even properly risen. The sun rises later already, with October and all that. The darker mornings remind me of that restraining-order-romance I had last winter before my pre-frontal cortex had knocked itself into place, not to imply it has fully developed, but I don’t see clenched fists as a romantic gesture anymore so we’re definitely a little further along. I probably slowed it down with all those damn drugs I did as a teen. What else was I meant to do? I grew up in a paddock, for goodness sake. It was either drug-doing or cloud-watching or story-writing and my Mama made sure I did my fair share of all three. Oh, and don't forget the God-fearing. Did my fair share of that too. Anyway. Anyway, it is the first day of October and the rain has passed now and I've been camping in this cafe for much too long. It is the first day of October and I should get going 'cause I wanna make music and I wanna make movies and I wanna make magic and I wanna make a baby and name it Earl Grey just ‘cause Lily told me to. It is the first day of October and I don't want to talk about September and I am writing like my life depends on it again because, well, truthfully, it just about does.